Friday, 4 February 2011

Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun!

I don’t need to tell you that 'words' are wonderful?

You’re reading the words on these pages and it’s highly likely that you read lots of other words too. Hey, you might even write lots of your own words too!

Depending on the tone of those words, you can influence someone’s mood, brighten (or darken) their day, enrage them, make them smile, or better still, make them roar with laughter.

I have alluded to mis-pronounced words in the past and recently, Annabel made me chuckle with a small slip of the tongue. Annabel is unfortunate enough to possess a rather delicate digestive system and requires careful avoidance of certain food and drink, as well as a regular intake of certain other food and drink.

To prevent any likelihood of, as she puts it, a “traffic jam” (I think you know what I mean!), several times a week she has a small glass of prune juice. The magical effects of these modest little fruits are unsurpassable in the “anti-traffic jam” department. But today, she didn’t ask for prune juice, she asked for “prawn” juice. When I thought I’d mis-heard her, the conversation that followed revealed that she’d often wondered how her ‘tummy juice’ was so ‘purple and dark, considering prawns were so ‘light and pink’.


So sweet, so innocent.

Actually, while we’re on the slightly tricky topic of digestive systems, a comment by Joseph caught me off guard recently, reducing me to giggles. I wanted to tell you about it but just wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. No such trouble now!

It was my turn to … erm … y’know … ahhh … lose a few pounds quickly, if you know what I mean??!?

Well, I was sat there, as you do, but in our house, we have an open door policy. Well, not so much an open door policy as a ‘can’t be bothered to close the door’ policy. Of course, although any given part of the house can be quiet and child free one minute, it can quickly turn into noisy and crowded when you least expect it!

This was one of those times.

“Dad, can I tell you a knock-knock joke?”

“Erm …. Can it wait for a bit please? I’m a bit busy right now”.

“No you’re not. You’re just reading a book”.

“Yeah, that’s not quite what I meant. I’d rather you waited until I came out of the bathroom. Then you can tell me your joke”.

I could tell by his face that he was struggling to see the problem. He did, however, leave the room.

For about a minute and a half!

Then, joined by his sister, they sat right outside the bathroom – door still open – and started playing a game together, all the while shouting out for me to “watch this Dad”, or “Dad, look, he’s cheating”.

“Look, could you go and play in one of your bedrooms please, you can see I’m otherwise engaged”.

Again, they both left, but returned with various questions, evoking various responses from my good self, and this was the pattern for a good five minutes.

(I know what you’re thinking – how long do I need to spend in there, right? Hey, the way I look at it, I may as well finish the chapter I’m on!).

Anyhoo, with the end of aforementioned chapter well in sight but repeatedly and agonisingly out of reach, Joseph once more strolled nonchalantly into the bathroom with his mouth opening, ready to make another statement of some sort, as if I hadn’t asked him to stay out half a dozen times already.

“Look, can I just have a poo in peace, PLEASE!”

This was said with some volume and he ran out of the bathroom, pausing only briefly to look straight back at me and announcing, “that was alliteration Dad!”

My laughter forced me to abandon the chapter altogether.

Joseph: 1 – Dad: nil

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